Marriage Be Hard: 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner

Discover the keys to upholding your vows while staying sane in this hilariously candid guide to relationships.

Growing up in the church, Kevin and Melissa Fredericks were taught endless rules around dating, sex, and marriage, but not a lot about what actually makes a relationship work. When they first got married, they felt alone—like every other couple had perfect chemistry while the two of them struggled. There were conversations that they didn’t know they needed to have, fears that affected how they related to each other, and seasons of change that put their marriage to the test.

Part of their story reads like a fairytale: high school sweethearts, married in college, never sowed any wild oats, with two sons and a thriving marriage. But there’s another side of their story: the night Melissa kicked Kevin out of her car after years of communication problems, the time early in their marriage when Kevin bordered on an emotional affair, or the way they’ve used social media and podcasts to conduct a no-holds-barred conversation about jealousy, divorce, and being Christian and sex-positive. (Because, as Kevin writes, “Your hormones don’t care about your beliefs. Your hormones want you to subscribe to OnlyFans.”)

In Marriage Be Hard, they go beyond the rules preached on Sunday mornings and the advice given at men’s and women’s groups, providing a masterclass on what it takes to build a lasting relationship. Drawing on interviews with experts and nearly two decades of marriage, they argue that:
•  Compatibility is overrated.
•  Communication is about way more than simply talking.
•  Seeing divorce as an option can actually help your marriage.

Real marriage is not automatic. It ain’t no Tesla on the open road. Sometimes it’s a stick shift on a hill in the rain with no windshield wipers. But if you get comfortable visiting—and revisiting—the topics that matter, it can transform your bond with your partner and the life you’re building together.